black_sluggard: (Default)

(To set the stage, all of this occurs in the kitchen while dinner is being cooked)

In the aftermath of tallying the score from a dice game, my sister's boyfriend made a comment about being "mathematically correct".
My mom: "But are you anatomically correct?"
My sister: *mock gasp* "Gee, God, I hope so, otherwise what have I been doing?"
Me: "Scarring me for life!"
The boyfriend: "I HAVE A PENIS!"
Me: "C'mon, don't shout shit like that when our dad's in the house."

Shortly later, my sister gets caught reading one of our grandmother's Harlequin novels. Mockery occurs.
My sister: (to her boyfriend) "Keep saying shit like that and you ain't getting any more pussy."
My sis and her boyfriend crack up. They then manufacture excuses to repeat this phrase back to me for the next half hour.

And all of this before Leanne enters the room and somehow misconstrues the boyfriend's recounting of a dream (which I was in) that caused him to elbow my sister in the face as having been about a threesome. Blarg.

black_sluggard: (Default)
Well we've got proper net again.

*does the dance of the connected* (no idea what that would look like)

Debating whether or not to buy extra userpics. I'm horrible about buying things for myself. Even when shit costs only a couple dollars always feel like I could be using it for something better. (It's lost me several candybars over the years. T_T)

I'm 27 and still live at home, which isn't something I'm ashamed of. With both parents, a grandmother, a couple of' adult friends, and my sister who comes and goes it's a pretty full house, so I'm just one more. Of course, you put that many supposed adults in one living space and some crazy shit can happen. This isn't even shit compared to some of the things that get said in my house, I plan on trying to share more later, so eventually I'm sure I'll catch better for you. In the mean time:

Tony (friend, late 40s): "Anyone have any AAA batteries?"
Kenna (my sister, early 20s): "Nah, I left my vibrator at the apartment."
Tony: "Pfft. If your vibrator uses AAA batteries, you're hopeless."
Me: "Depends on how many it takes."
Kenna: "Yeah, I can fit about seventeen in that thing."

(all this in front of my parents)


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May 2017

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