I've had my friend try and talk me into meditation. I don't know if I could stop and focus on one thing like that, because if I'm not doing one thing my mind tends to wander and run off with something else.
I have the exact same problem. That's why meditating never worked for me either. At some point someone even tried to coach me through it and I couldn't help laughing at myself all through it. I think I gave *her* a need for therapy in the end. :P

Oh, well. Then I might be of gender queer. It's not that i'm hesitating or am not sure of myself right now, but I think I might be less and less sexually attracted to men. Or, not even not attracted. I am, and I get aroused by some too, but I am not 'pleased'. So... it lead me to wonder: do *they* all suck (aka "Dude, you really know how to pick'em.") or am I just hetero-romantic and bi-sexual?
It's not that I'm still searching. I have a fix theory and likely a fixed way for now, I just have a definite lack of personal life and therefore evidence to back that theory.

Thanks for the clarifications though, I didn't know all those specific had names.
*snort* Please, writting guys is not necessarely a desire to be one. I think they're just simpler minds (*dodges punches from guys all around the world*). I think I ring most true when I write gay men, go figure. Or maybe they're not simpler, but less annoying? Typical female psyche? Ugh.

I think feeling female and feeling girly are very different. I feel female most of the time (though I often don't feel human while doing so), and maybe sometimes I'm just a being, like you said, abstract. But sometimes I feel girly and I, for some aspects, like it.
When i'm doing cliché girly stuff. Like... finding Taylor Swift adorable even though I hate myself for it because I'm way past fifteen. Or jonesing for someone's shoes. Or when I look at a drawer full of clothes and I just don't feel like any of them. (*fp* dude, you're poor, roll with it) Or when I remember Steve Carlson's concert and I just get chills everytime I think of the moment I shook his hand and he knew I existed (because he was saying hi to me) in the world and wow, those eyes. *passes out*
(It's weird. I mock fans who break down when they meet celebrities, or shriek at concerts or stuff. And I didn't at the time. I was a little shy, because even if he's not Madona, you know, he's used to fans and probably doesn't give a shit about one more. But he was nice, and his voice. It's just a rumbling purr that gets to me. Imagine shaking Castiel's hand and having him croon "Hey there. Nice to meet you." with a smile and his EYES on you. Guh.
Not like meeting Misha, though. Misha just told me I could strip for him if I wanted. rofl)
See. Girly. FANgirly. *headdesk*