black_sluggard | (Fic) Of Mice and Men—Chapter Eight: Trial or Error?

Title: Of Mice and Men
Fandoms: Castle, Fables
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Fantasy, Humor, Romance
Details: Slash, genre!crack, AU, crack, unsolicited crossover, fairy tales, talking animals, author insanity, shades of "omfg what did I just write?", unbetad.
Characters/Pairings: Castle—Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan, Kate Beckett. Fables—Bigby Wolf, Frau Totenkinder, Reynard, Rose Red, Bagheera, others. OCs.
Wordcount: 1,477
Summary: In which a city mouse visits the country, which predictably leads to trouble and (in no particular order) revelations, relations and reciprocation; a funeral and a shotgun wedding; and Javier almost gets eaten by a panther.
Note: This was going to be another long-ass chapter, but I decided to split it into parts. Apologies that it's taken this long to get the next one out there. Oh, and it also has mood swings like crazy, and just generally makes no sense (so, kind of like me in that respect).

Chapter Eight: Trial or Error?

(In which a third kiss decides whether or not a fourth will seal the deal.)

"Three days."

Javier looked up suddenly at the sound of his partner's voice. Lost in thought, he hadn't even heard Kevin come in. The obvious joke sat on the tip of his tongue, and he debated briefly whether or not to go ahead and make it. Not that he had never before described his partner as being as quiet as a mouse, but before it had never actually meant anything.

With little else to do while waiting, Javier had spent a large part of the day wondering about that—about all the ways in which yesterday's revelations might change the relationship he had with his partner, regardless of their scale. Among other things Javier had thought about how, at its core, both his partnership and his friendship with Kevin had always been built in large part on a solid foundation of flippancy and good-natured ribbing. In a job like theirs, that kind of joking around could be just as crucial a part of having each other's backs as any physical protection they offered one another—in a way, part of their duty to one another was simply keeping the other grounded, sane. And Javier had been uncertain how any of the new information he had about Kevin might fit eventually into their relationship—which parts would be the ones that inevitably became just another part of their routine and which might be completely out of bounds.

And, while he was forced to acknowledge the possibility that their friendship might never be the same after all of this, Javier refused to even consider the possibility that it wouldn't recover at all.

Largely, Javier had concluded that, at least for right now, it was probably a bit too soon to risk joking about most of it. That didn't make it any less tempting, though. The idleness of waiting had left Javier feeling anxious and just a little bit helpless, and he hated feeling like that. The impulse was there to crack a joke, as if it could help him regain some control over the mad situation he had found himself in...

But when Javier saw the look on Kevin's face as he stood in the doorway—strangely tense, almost nervous—concern drove that impulse from his mind entirely. Though he had been expecting Kevin to be upset in the wake of his ex-partner's funeral, the expression he wore wasn't at all one that Javier had imagined. Caught off guard, it took him a moment to even register Kevin's words, though even then he failed to take any immediate meaning out of them.

"Huh?" Javier found himself responding, very intelligently.

Kevin hesitated a moment. Bringing the door shut carefully behind him he stood there silently, and Javier could almost see him gathering the courage and momentum needed to carry him through whatever it was he needed to say.

"This morning," Kevin began, slowly. "This morning you said you'd received too many shocks over the past three days, but you'd hardly even been here for one."

Kevin paused, looking him over for a moment, and a painfully worried line etched itself on his brow as Javier's eyes met his.

"Javier...why did you follow me all the way out here? What was so important it couldn't wait?"

And Javier's brain stalled as he realized what Kevin was getting at—the pieces of the puzzle that his partner's brain must have finally managed to put together. Because it was now—it was now on top of everything else—that he was going to have this conversation with his partner. And Javier knew for certain that, in contrast to his earlier uncertainties about where their friendship might go from here, this would definitely change their relationship...and change it irrevocably.

"Kev—" Javier started, but his throat was dry and his voice failed him.

Seconds slid past and he was unsuccessful in finding it again, though not for lack of trying. Yet nervous impatience—and perhaps, in some small part, his partner's blessedly generous sense of mercy—forced Kevin to move forward without him.

"Because you know what I think?" Kevin continued shakily, plowing along awkwardly as if he hardly noticed Javier's silence. "I think that we each know each other pretty well, but even the people we know we don't always really know them, not a hundred percent. I mean, obviously there's a lot you didn't know about me until yesterday. And you—"

Kevin stopped, shaking his head.

"You know, one thing I've always envied was how you never hide who you are," Kevin said, and for a moment the anxious expression on his face was broken by a faint smile. "You know who Javier Esposito is, and it's just not in your make-up to give a big goddamn about what other people think of that. I envied that so much, and I don't even think I would have found the courage to come back here, not without that example—without you."

He seemed to stumble for a moment, a bit of confusion worming its way into Kevin's expression. Pausing once again he wet his lips.

"So..." Kevin finally continued, hesitantly. "So I guess I never really considered you might not always be open about everything. Which is dumb, I really should have. And...well, after I found out you were interested in other men there were a couple of times when I wondered if maybe— If you ever thought about me that way. If you ever thought about us as more than just a partners and friends. But I always just assumed that if you had you would have come out and said something, so it was never more than curiosity."

And when that confused look crossed his face again, and when Kevin's eyes squeezed shut, Javier felt his stomach twist.

"This marriage isn't real, Javier," Kevin continued quickly, opening his eyes to search Javier's face. "It's not. If you followed me out here hoping for something that was...?"

Kevin's words ran out, but his voice cautiously raised the last into a question. One that Javier felt it was rather pointless, at this stage, to deny. He acknowledged it with a silent nod that Kevin mirrored briefly. And it was stupid how much it all stung, especially since Javier had come out here expecting his partner to let him down gently, but so much had happened since his arrival that he had forgotten both his original intentions and the expectations that had come with them almost completely.

And Kevin's eyes still looked a bit bewildered, but, oddly, so did his smile.

"I don't know if we'd even work that way, Javier," Kevin said, cautiously, "but I do know there's no one in this world—in any world—that means more to me than you. And..."

Kevin faltered briefly. Looking down at his hands, his smile turning a bit wry and self-conscious when he looked up at Javier again.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is—it's not something I ever imagined myself wanting, but then so much in my life hasn't been. And...and I think I'd kind of like for us to try."

And Javier could only stare at him for a startled moment until everything finally clicked into place.

"You— What? I don't—"

Javier stopped himself very quickly, because if he didn't get a grip on himself or his thoughts he ran the risk of screwing up something that was potentially very important. So he didn't ask Kevin if he was sure, or if he was serious, or anything else stupid like that. Instead, Javier waited for Kevin to answer those questions on his own—

Which is partner chose to do wordlessly, leaning in for a kiss.

It was slow this time, holding none of the urgency of their first kiss, but though it was almost ponderously careful, neither was it as awkward as the second—a kiss that wasn't for show, a kiss that wasn't for anything or anyone but the two of them. Kevin kissed like he was solving a case, letting himself feel it out with all of his focus—

And it was almost exactly what Javier had imagined a kiss from Kevin would feel like.

"Yeah," Kevin finally managed, having apparently found his answer, and said it breathlessly, half a laugh whispered against Javier's lips. "Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing that again."

Yet, as he drew back, his expression quickly grew serious.

"I mean I— I've spent so much time lying to you," Kevin said, looking him over again with an uncertain frown. "And none of this was part of the package you thought you were signing up for. So I understand if you don't—"

And Javier felt he was entirely justified in cutting Kevin off with another kiss, because his partner had done entirely too much talking already.

"I'm not convinced you ever lied to me about anything important," Javier said when it had finished.

Finally at a loss for words himself, Kevin smiled.

Chapter Nine

Author's Note: Just one more and an epilogue after this.