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Title: A Proliferation of Hearts
Series: Life
Fandoms: Castle
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Humor.
Warnings: Slash, AU, genre!crack, zombies, established relationship, cheesiness, fluff, mild squick, unbetad.
Characters/Pairings: Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan.
Wordcount: 1,879
Summary: Which concerns dubious holiday purchases, Javier being uncharacteristically sentimental, Kevin being characteristically demented, and the probability of them actually waiting for dessert approaches zero.
Details: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
ryanandesposito's Valentine's Day Mini Ficathon. A little late.
This probably reads very strangely to anyone who hasn't read my Life series, but all you need know is that Javier is just a tiny bit...undead.
I know I said a V-Day fic for Life would wind up too cheesy, but— Um, no, actually I was right. It's way cheesy. I just did it anyway.
Javier had always kind of thought Valentine's Day was a stupid holiday.
It was tacky, obnoxious, pointless, and loud. And, of course, ridiculously commercial. It seemed to exist for the sole purpose of convincing you to buy cheap crap for more than it was worth, as if it was the only way girlfriends had of gauging how much you loved them. There was of course little he could do about it, however, and so like many other things he couldn't change, it was something he had long ago resigned himself to accept. Once a year, whether he liked it or not, those ridiculous holiday displays would spring up in every store—often consuming whole aisles with their inescapable, gaudy sprawl. The cycle was inevitable, and for the better part of his adult life he'd forced himself to simply ignore it.
To be quite honest, the thing which had surprised Javier the most was that it was even possible for him to find the holiday any more offensive than he already had.
Part of it, he knew, was actually pathological. During his illness, changes had taken place in his brain that had rewired his perceptions, skewing his senses slightly. His sensitivity to sound and scent had been among the most noticeable. More subtly, the color red drew his eye more strongly these days. It wasn't normally much of a problem, but in large doses sometimes it triggered a faint, eager feeling on the edge of his awareness, almost like an itch. It made those ridiculous displays even more difficult to ignore. Just walking past those vibrantly decorated aisles often left him feeling overstimulated and unsettled, the bright colors and the shine grating unreasonably against his senses.
Of course, it was also hard to feel appropriately moved by the colorful proliferation of hearts when your own didn't beat.
To make things just that much more unbearable, his metabolism used less than a quarter of the energy it once had. As much as seventy percent of the calories a vital person consumed could be expected to go toward fueling basic biological needs. Needs like temperature regulation, breathing, and heart rate—needs his body didn't have any more.
The impact this fact had on his daily life was frustrating enough. Setting aside his more abnormal wants, it was sometimes difficult to distinguish craving and habit from actual hunger—and even more difficult when he was out with others. It had never occurred to him how much of a social thing eating was until he found himself sitting out more often than not. Even when he was with people he knew would have understood, sometimes he felt so uncomfortably out of place merely tagging along that he frequently wound up eating at times he knew he probably shouldn't have.
As if his other, more disturbing food issues weren't already enough...
Perversely, he'd also come out of onset with what was probably the worst sweet tooth he'd had since he was nine. The check-out line wait had become the bane of his existence, and over the past two weeks in particular he had given in to red-wrapped temptation far more than he would have liked. For just that reason he'd cultivated the habit of wandering off once the majority of the shopping was done, leaving Kevin to finish paying for the groceries. Unfortunately, that still failed to explain was why he was now standing in the holiday aisle, trying to focus past the jarring buzz rising in his skull like the beginnings of a headache. By all rights, he had no reason to be there whatsoever. With the general hatefulness of the holiday firmly cemented in his mind, it shouldn't even have been on his radar, except...
Except, Kevin was kind of a cheeseball, wasn't he?
In fact, his partner was the kind of cheeseball who dug the sorts of holidays that were probably best left for children. He knew Kevin had an entire ecosystem of goofy sweaters, tacky ties, and old holiday cards living in the back of his closet. Things given by his mother or his sisters, his nephew, his aunts, and even a few of his exes. Things any sane man would have thrown away long ago. The thing was, though, Kevin was one of the very few people who, when they told someone it was the thought that counted, actually meant it.
Kevin liked cute, stupid little gestures, and Javier felt like an idiot for even thinking about it, but there was an entire aisle full of cute and stupid right in front of him...
---
They were putting the groceries away when Kevin found the card tucked away in the bag. Javier watched his partner's smile from the corner of his eye, doing his best to pretend he hadn't noticed... A task which quickly became impossible once Kevin's arms had looped themselves around Javier's waist, leaning in to press a warm kiss against the back of his neck.
"I love it," Kevin said, resting his chin on Javier's shoulder. "It's perfect."
Looking down at the card Kevin still held in his hands, Javier grudgingly had to admit that, yeah, it kind of was. It was a simple cardboard card, the front a plain blank white with a thin stripe of red around the border. Inside it opened up to a shape in the same red, vaguely human like the chains of paper dolls Javier's sister used to make when they were little. On the chest a small piece of plastic was set into the card, shiny and reflective like a mirror. It was shaped like a heart.
The card itself said nothing, but Javier thought it pretty much said everything he wanted to say.
Kevin slid another kiss across Javier's cheek before he himself slid away to finish putting away his share of the groceries. Javier couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Though his disappointment was quickly replaced by curiosity as he lifted a small package wrapped in white butcher paper out of one of the bags. Opening the paper, the smell of blood registered first, but on it's own that wasn't unusual under the circumstances.
No, it was the sight of the thing once he got it unwrapped that stopped him cold...
"Kev..."
Kevin didn't respond right away, though Javier definitely heard his partner's movements slow behind him.
"Kevin." And looking over his shoulder, Javier saw that Kevin had stopped what he was doing, hands resting still on the counter, though he still seemed reluctant to turn around. "What is this?"
Javier felt more than saw the beat it took Kevin to brace himself before he turned, eyebrows raised inquiringly as if he couldn't possibly know what Javier was talking about.
"Oh, that." Kevin answered, a nervous note of fake innocence hanging in his voice. "Just something special I picked up, for, uh, Valentine's Day."
"Kevin..."
Javier tried to keep the warning his voice fairly light, but it was honestly difficult with his partner acting all embarrassed and cagey like that.
"Corazón de carnero?" Kevin finally answered, with a wince.
And Javier couldn't help but be baffled by how his partner not only managed to make that wince audible in his voice, but also, somehow, turned those words into a question.
"You—" Javier had to stop, pause, and reprocess. He was caught briefly between disbelief and amusement, and uncertain how Kevin might react to either. Still, he needed the extra clarification, for his sanity's sake, so he decided to go with the former. "You got me a sheep's heart for Valentine's Day?"
"It's actually a fairly popular purchase this time of year..." Kevin mumbled softly.
As if it somehow needed justification.
His cheeks were very red, and he was still gazing at the floor like he wished it would open up and swallow him. Finally Kevin huffed a slow breath.
"Look," he said finally, taking a step towards Javier and the bloody thing still sitting exposed on the kitchen counter, "we can just throw it out if you don't want it..."
"Hey," Javier said lightly, giving Kevin's hand a gentle swat as he reached to remove the bizarre gift. "I didn't say that."
Because they both knew the issue was really Javier's acceptance of the offering more than Kevin's reluctance to give it. Some of his newly acquired tastes could be a little unsettling, even to him. Maybe he would have been more self-conscious about it, once. These days, though, when it was just him and Kevin, it had become so much easier not to be. Javier chose to show his appreciation in the simplest way possible. Trailing two fingers through the blood pooling on the paper beneath it he brought them to his lips, the taste wonderfully sharp and metallic.
"You're demented," Javier said, "You do know that, right?"
He said it fondly, though, and with a smile, and to his relief, Kevin relaxed. Leaning an elbow against the counter, he tilted his head slightly, looking Javier in the eye.
"You know," he said slowly, "If you didn't like it, I did have a back-up plan."
"Is that right?" Javier asked, though he knew to be cautious when he heard that coy, thoughtful tone creep into Kevin's voice.
"Mhm."
And Kevin was more than capable of being very subtle when he wanted to be, but tonight it was clearly not a priority. Looking into the grocery bag by his elbow, he drew out a can of whipped cream with a grin. Popping the cap, he lifted a finger to draw down the collar of his shirt before he squirted out a small puff of cream onto the hollow of his throat.
Javier snorted a short laugh, shaking his head. Stepping in, he settled his hands on Kevin's hips, dipping his head down to slowly lick the spot clean. When he was done he moved upward to suck hard at the skin above Kevin's pulse. Sugar mingled with the faint salt taste of sweat, a combination he was well aware Kevin knew he loved.
"Demented," Javier said again, coming back up to capture his partner's mouth in a kiss. "Good thing I love you for it."
---
Ironically, despite the trappings of the occasion, neither of them really considered the pleasing night that followed anything out of the ordinary. Of course, the conversation had just felt so natural to both of them that neither one ever did realize it was actually the first time those words had been said out loud.
Author's Note: Because calories eaten directly off of another person totally don't even count. Trufax.
I think I have to blame part of this on my English class and the discussion we had last week on ethics in advertising... Apparently, my teacher is an obsessed Mad Men fanatic.
The weird biology lesson in the middle, though, that's all on me. I try for cutsieness, and I get distracted by weird science... Story of my life.
So, yeah...this was supposed to be a short, sexy little Valentine's Day drabble, not a PSA on post-vital eating disorders.
Seriously. I wish I could say I don't know what happened, but...hell, we all know what happened. :/
P.S. I think I may have inadvertently inverted the old saying about the way to a man's—
Yeah...
Series: Life
Fandoms: Castle
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Humor.
Warnings: Slash, AU, genre!crack, zombies, established relationship, cheesiness, fluff, mild squick, unbetad.
Characters/Pairings: Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan.
Wordcount: 1,879
Summary: Which concerns dubious holiday purchases, Javier being uncharacteristically sentimental, Kevin being characteristically demented, and the probability of them actually waiting for dessert approaches zero.
Details: Written for
ryanandesposito's Valentine's Day Mini Ficathon. A little late.This probably reads very strangely to anyone who hasn't read my Life series, but all you need know is that Javier is just a tiny bit...undead.
I know I said a V-Day fic for Life would wind up too cheesy, but— Um, no, actually I was right. It's way cheesy. I just did it anyway.
Javier had always kind of thought Valentine's Day was a stupid holiday.
It was tacky, obnoxious, pointless, and loud. And, of course, ridiculously commercial. It seemed to exist for the sole purpose of convincing you to buy cheap crap for more than it was worth, as if it was the only way girlfriends had of gauging how much you loved them. There was of course little he could do about it, however, and so like many other things he couldn't change, it was something he had long ago resigned himself to accept. Once a year, whether he liked it or not, those ridiculous holiday displays would spring up in every store—often consuming whole aisles with their inescapable, gaudy sprawl. The cycle was inevitable, and for the better part of his adult life he'd forced himself to simply ignore it.
To be quite honest, the thing which had surprised Javier the most was that it was even possible for him to find the holiday any more offensive than he already had.
Part of it, he knew, was actually pathological. During his illness, changes had taken place in his brain that had rewired his perceptions, skewing his senses slightly. His sensitivity to sound and scent had been among the most noticeable. More subtly, the color red drew his eye more strongly these days. It wasn't normally much of a problem, but in large doses sometimes it triggered a faint, eager feeling on the edge of his awareness, almost like an itch. It made those ridiculous displays even more difficult to ignore. Just walking past those vibrantly decorated aisles often left him feeling overstimulated and unsettled, the bright colors and the shine grating unreasonably against his senses.
Of course, it was also hard to feel appropriately moved by the colorful proliferation of hearts when your own didn't beat.
To make things just that much more unbearable, his metabolism used less than a quarter of the energy it once had. As much as seventy percent of the calories a vital person consumed could be expected to go toward fueling basic biological needs. Needs like temperature regulation, breathing, and heart rate—needs his body didn't have any more.
The impact this fact had on his daily life was frustrating enough. Setting aside his more abnormal wants, it was sometimes difficult to distinguish craving and habit from actual hunger—and even more difficult when he was out with others. It had never occurred to him how much of a social thing eating was until he found himself sitting out more often than not. Even when he was with people he knew would have understood, sometimes he felt so uncomfortably out of place merely tagging along that he frequently wound up eating at times he knew he probably shouldn't have.
As if his other, more disturbing food issues weren't already enough...
Perversely, he'd also come out of onset with what was probably the worst sweet tooth he'd had since he was nine. The check-out line wait had become the bane of his existence, and over the past two weeks in particular he had given in to red-wrapped temptation far more than he would have liked. For just that reason he'd cultivated the habit of wandering off once the majority of the shopping was done, leaving Kevin to finish paying for the groceries. Unfortunately, that still failed to explain was why he was now standing in the holiday aisle, trying to focus past the jarring buzz rising in his skull like the beginnings of a headache. By all rights, he had no reason to be there whatsoever. With the general hatefulness of the holiday firmly cemented in his mind, it shouldn't even have been on his radar, except...
Except, Kevin was kind of a cheeseball, wasn't he?
In fact, his partner was the kind of cheeseball who dug the sorts of holidays that were probably best left for children. He knew Kevin had an entire ecosystem of goofy sweaters, tacky ties, and old holiday cards living in the back of his closet. Things given by his mother or his sisters, his nephew, his aunts, and even a few of his exes. Things any sane man would have thrown away long ago. The thing was, though, Kevin was one of the very few people who, when they told someone it was the thought that counted, actually meant it.
Kevin liked cute, stupid little gestures, and Javier felt like an idiot for even thinking about it, but there was an entire aisle full of cute and stupid right in front of him...
---
They were putting the groceries away when Kevin found the card tucked away in the bag. Javier watched his partner's smile from the corner of his eye, doing his best to pretend he hadn't noticed... A task which quickly became impossible once Kevin's arms had looped themselves around Javier's waist, leaning in to press a warm kiss against the back of his neck.
"I love it," Kevin said, resting his chin on Javier's shoulder. "It's perfect."
Looking down at the card Kevin still held in his hands, Javier grudgingly had to admit that, yeah, it kind of was. It was a simple cardboard card, the front a plain blank white with a thin stripe of red around the border. Inside it opened up to a shape in the same red, vaguely human like the chains of paper dolls Javier's sister used to make when they were little. On the chest a small piece of plastic was set into the card, shiny and reflective like a mirror. It was shaped like a heart.
The card itself said nothing, but Javier thought it pretty much said everything he wanted to say.
Kevin slid another kiss across Javier's cheek before he himself slid away to finish putting away his share of the groceries. Javier couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Though his disappointment was quickly replaced by curiosity as he lifted a small package wrapped in white butcher paper out of one of the bags. Opening the paper, the smell of blood registered first, but on it's own that wasn't unusual under the circumstances.
No, it was the sight of the thing once he got it unwrapped that stopped him cold...
"Kev..."
Kevin didn't respond right away, though Javier definitely heard his partner's movements slow behind him.
"Kevin." And looking over his shoulder, Javier saw that Kevin had stopped what he was doing, hands resting still on the counter, though he still seemed reluctant to turn around. "What is this?"
Javier felt more than saw the beat it took Kevin to brace himself before he turned, eyebrows raised inquiringly as if he couldn't possibly know what Javier was talking about.
"Oh, that." Kevin answered, a nervous note of fake innocence hanging in his voice. "Just something special I picked up, for, uh, Valentine's Day."
"Kevin..."
Javier tried to keep the warning his voice fairly light, but it was honestly difficult with his partner acting all embarrassed and cagey like that.
"Corazón de carnero?" Kevin finally answered, with a wince.
And Javier couldn't help but be baffled by how his partner not only managed to make that wince audible in his voice, but also, somehow, turned those words into a question.
"You—" Javier had to stop, pause, and reprocess. He was caught briefly between disbelief and amusement, and uncertain how Kevin might react to either. Still, he needed the extra clarification, for his sanity's sake, so he decided to go with the former. "You got me a sheep's heart for Valentine's Day?"
"It's actually a fairly popular purchase this time of year..." Kevin mumbled softly.
As if it somehow needed justification.
His cheeks were very red, and he was still gazing at the floor like he wished it would open up and swallow him. Finally Kevin huffed a slow breath.
"Look," he said finally, taking a step towards Javier and the bloody thing still sitting exposed on the kitchen counter, "we can just throw it out if you don't want it..."
"Hey," Javier said lightly, giving Kevin's hand a gentle swat as he reached to remove the bizarre gift. "I didn't say that."
Because they both knew the issue was really Javier's acceptance of the offering more than Kevin's reluctance to give it. Some of his newly acquired tastes could be a little unsettling, even to him. Maybe he would have been more self-conscious about it, once. These days, though, when it was just him and Kevin, it had become so much easier not to be. Javier chose to show his appreciation in the simplest way possible. Trailing two fingers through the blood pooling on the paper beneath it he brought them to his lips, the taste wonderfully sharp and metallic.
"You're demented," Javier said, "You do know that, right?"
He said it fondly, though, and with a smile, and to his relief, Kevin relaxed. Leaning an elbow against the counter, he tilted his head slightly, looking Javier in the eye.
"You know," he said slowly, "If you didn't like it, I did have a back-up plan."
"Is that right?" Javier asked, though he knew to be cautious when he heard that coy, thoughtful tone creep into Kevin's voice.
"Mhm."
And Kevin was more than capable of being very subtle when he wanted to be, but tonight it was clearly not a priority. Looking into the grocery bag by his elbow, he drew out a can of whipped cream with a grin. Popping the cap, he lifted a finger to draw down the collar of his shirt before he squirted out a small puff of cream onto the hollow of his throat.
Javier snorted a short laugh, shaking his head. Stepping in, he settled his hands on Kevin's hips, dipping his head down to slowly lick the spot clean. When he was done he moved upward to suck hard at the skin above Kevin's pulse. Sugar mingled with the faint salt taste of sweat, a combination he was well aware Kevin knew he loved.
"Demented," Javier said again, coming back up to capture his partner's mouth in a kiss. "Good thing I love you for it."
---
Ironically, despite the trappings of the occasion, neither of them really considered the pleasing night that followed anything out of the ordinary. Of course, the conversation had just felt so natural to both of them that neither one ever did realize it was actually the first time those words had been said out loud.
Author's Note: Because calories eaten directly off of another person totally don't even count. Trufax.
I think I have to blame part of this on my English class and the discussion we had last week on ethics in advertising... Apparently, my teacher is an obsessed Mad Men fanatic.
The weird biology lesson in the middle, though, that's all on me. I try for cutsieness, and I get distracted by weird science... Story of my life.
So, yeah...this was supposed to be a short, sexy little Valentine's Day drabble, not a PSA on post-vital eating disorders.
Seriously. I wish I could say I don't know what happened, but...hell, we all know what happened. :/
P.S. I think I may have inadvertently inverted the old saying about the way to a man's—
Yeah...
