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Title: Of Mice and Men
Fandoms: Castle, Fables
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Fantasy, Humor, Romance
Warnings: Slash, genre!crack, AU, crack, unsolicited crossover, fairy tales, talking animals, author insanity, shades of "omfg what did I just write?", unbetad.
Characters/Pairings: Castle—Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan. Fables—Bigby Wolf, Reynard, Frau Totenkinder, Rose Red, Clara, Bagheera, Stinky, others.
Wordcount: 1,610
Chapter Four: A Marriage of Inconvenience
(In which further questions are raised, most of which are not answered, but even then Javier is quick to sense when things start going rapidly downhill...)
Seven or eight passes of the question through his mind refused to change its content whatsoever.
Speechless, Javier found himself backing up a step, falling to his seat as his legs collided with the edge of the guestroom bed. Fortunately—perhaps—he was saved from the need for a response when they were intruded upon by Kevin's, er...friend, from before. Not that Javier immediately noticed when the mouse squeezed in under the door, of course, but the creature's raised voice drew both of their attention quickly. Javier was distantly rather proud of himself when he managed not to overreact to the sight.
Or really react...at all.
"Rose is coming," the mouse shouted, scaling the leg of a chair that stood next to the door.
They hardly had time to process the words before the door swung open. Javier didn't know what exactly he might have been expecting, but the petite young woman who walked through it definitely wasn't it. She had very short, very red hair, and was dressed in black jeans and a short white t-shirt that left her midriff exposed. Despite the large crow which was perched upon her shoulder she appeared so absurdly, blessedly normal that Javier almost laughed.
"Am I interrupting something?"
It seemed to dawn on Kevin slowly how different the scene looked from before now that Javier was seated on the bed. His face was bright red by the time he scrambled up off his knees.
"Miss Red, I, uh, this isn't—"
Sadistically, Javier found watching Kevin struggle against his flustered stammer oddly comforting. At least he wasn't the only one who had been thrown just a little ways out of his depth.
"Okay stop," she said, holding her hands to interrupt him, which was probably best for all involved. "First just tell me who you are and what you're doing here."
Kevin paused, and though the question seemed straightforward enough for a moment Javier thought his partner's expression suggested some sort of internal debate.
"I'm—"
Javier saw Kevin's eyes flicker over him for just a moment before he answered.
"You'd probably know me as Ace?" he managed finally, his voice and words oddly uncertain. "I'm here for the funeral in Smalltown."
Whatever the significance of that last detail Rose's eyes widened just slightly in surprise, though she recovered with a quick blink. Looking over Kevin's face she gave a slow nod.
"Wait, I do remember you..." she said slowly. "You used to work for my sister back when she ran things down in the City."
Kevin nodded slowly, letting out a long breath.
"Yes," he answered quietly, wetting his lips. "A long time ago."
"And him?" Rose asked significantly, tilting her head in Javier's direction.
Kevin's eyes followed hers, almost reluctantly, the expression in them when they met Javier's was painfully apologetic. Kevin braced himself with a shallow breath.
"This is Javier Esposito," Kevin told her, slowly and very carefully. "My...fiance."
The hesitation was so slight even Javier almost missed it. Rose's attitude shifted almost immediately in response to his partner's words, and even the bird on her shoulder shuffled its feathers in a way that seemed quite agitated. Though Javier was lacking the significance of this revelation, his ignorance did not save him from being very much aware of the tension in the room.
"He followed me here," Kevin continued to explain, words spilling out very rapidly. "I— It was an accident. A mistake. He didn't know what was out here, and I haven't even told him anything yet."
"Yet?" Rose asked with a frown. "Just the fact that he's seen what he has forces things. I know what you're thinking, but a handfasting spell isn't cheap, Ace. And on such sort notice—"
As she spoke, Kevin reached into his sleeve. At first glance, what he pulled out resembled a fine silver necklace, only it appeared strangely of a piece, as though woven of thin threads of the bright metal rather than formed into links. There was also a peculiar shimmer to it that put Javier in mind of the transparent heat that hovered over pavement in the summer. As odd as the thing looked to him, however, Rose's words cut off almost instantly and she seemed genuinely taken aback, and even the mouse let out a soft squeak of surprise.
"I haven't told him yet," Kevin repeated, letting the unusual emphasis speak for itself.
Despite his own uneasy curiosity about the thing, Javier thought their reactions made sense if they were buying into Kevin's...plan. Mindful of his partner's conviction that his own life was riding on this, he told himself that this was a good thing, and resolved to let Kevin continue to do the talking and try to keep his mouth shut just a little bit longer.
Rose took a moment to consider. While she didn't precisely relax, the alertness of her posture eased, and Javier felt their situation had been downgraded from being a threat to merely being a problem.
"Your timing is terrible," she said, a touch wryly.
"I know," Kevin said, his tone remorseful and pleading. "I didn't mean to disrupt anything. Thumbwise was my partner and a good friend. Just—"
Kevin paused, looking down a little sadly at the slender silver cord that was pooled in the palm of his hand. Closing his fingers over it he dragged his free hand through his hair.
"You can do the ceremony, right?" he asked Rose, sounding a little desperate. "Twigleaf and another Fable can witness, then we'll just go. Drive straight down to Fabletown so he can sign the Compact, and from there it's King Cole's problem."
Whatever Kevin's solution really meant, it was plainly an attractive option from the way Rose considered it, but she shook her head with a sigh.
"You've been living among the Mundanes way too long if you think things will settle down with some kind of civil ceremony," she said, not unsympathetically. "You two are already the talk of the Farmyard. No doubt my sister and her husband have already heard about it in the next valley over, and I know the 13th Floor sorcerers keep eyes here, so I wouldn't be surprised if Fabletown already knows as well."
He saw Kevin wince, though from his lack of any other reaction Javier would have guessed she wasn't telling him anything his partner hadn't already known.
"We have to do this right, Ace," She finished firmly, "otherwise no one is going to feel safe or happy."
And Kevin didn't seem to like that answer, but apparently he couldn't argue with it.
"Okay," he said, returning a resigned nod. "After the funeral?"
Rose nodded.
"Of course," she said. Then, her lips drew slowly into a broad smile. "And don't worry. It'll be an event. I mean even if this wasn't the first handfasting in over a century, I'm pretty sure it's a Fabletown first, if you get my meaning."
Kevin groaned pathetically, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"No, Rose, please..."
"Nope," she said, holding up a finger to shut him up. "I don't get many legitimate excuses to throw a party, and you don't get a choice."
Dragging a hand over his face Kevin let it go with a drawn out sigh.
"Fine," he agreed wearily. "Then can we please have a moment so I can explain exactly what he's gotten mixed up in?"
Javier was all for that, and he felt an embarrassing amount of relief at Rose's consenting nod. Or perhaps it was just the fact that the crow would be leaving with her. While he had kept most of his attention on the conversation that damned bird had kept eyeing him throughout like he was something edible. The weight of its attention had been disproportionately unsettling—almost ridiculously so after his encounter with the panther. For some reason his mind kept spitting out random trivia he'd heard about how birds had evolved from dinosaurs...
For some reason, it had never been easier for him to believe.
"Alright," Rose said, turning toward the door. "I'll get started on the arrangements."
Unfortunately, once the door had closed behind them, silence fell on the room. Instead of providing answers like he had promised Kevin just sort of...stood there, chewing on his thumb like he sometimes did when he was very nervous. Not that he could blame him, but Javier felt he had been more than patient enough already...
"Kevin—"
With another sigh, Kevin held up a hand to stall him. Javier did stop, mostly out of recent habit, but he wasn't happy about it. He was just about to let Kevin know that too, when his partner spoke.
"Privacy please, Twig?"
The words made no sense until Kevin turned toward the answering silence near the door. His expression somehow managed to be as as affectionate as it was exasperated, and Javier realized he had all but forgotten the mouse was still in the room.
His partner clearly hadn't.
"Fine," the mouse said, its high, soft voice taking on a tone Javier thought sounded a bit put out. "I'll just go help Rose plan your big gay Gulliver wedding."
The mouse scrambled quickly down the chair leg, exiting beneath the door just as he had come. A short beat passed in which neither of them spoke. As Javier stared at his partner in silence he felt his gaze narrowing into a glare.
"Wedding, Kevin?" he blurted out finally once the pressure of frustration broke through. "What the hell is going on?"
Kevin finally turned to look him in the eye, visibly struggling with a response. Eventually he gave a nod—actually more of a head-wobble—before he spoke.
"Look, Javier, it's..." He winced slightly. "It's a really long story."
The look on his face was apologetic and almost...embarrassed. As if he thought he had made a really bad joke.
"In that case, bro," Javier said slowly, "you should really start talking now."
Chapter Five
Author's Note: I hate ending it here, but I promise the next chapter will deliver that promised explanation. Whether that explanation makes any sense whatsoever is another matter...
