(Fic) Of Mice and Men—Chapter Nine: Holey Matri-moley

[black_sluggard]

Title: Of Mice and Men
Fandoms: Castle, Fables
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Fantasy, Humor, Romance
Details: Slash, genre!crack, AU, crack, unsolicited crossover, fairy tales, talking animals, author insanity, shades of "omfg what did I just write?", unbetad.
Characters/Pairings: Castle—Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan, Kate Beckett. Fables—Bigby Wolf, Frau Totenkinder, Reynard, Rose Red, Bagheera, others. OCs.
Wordcount: 4,139
Summary: In which a city mouse visits the country, which predictably leads to trouble and (in no particular order) revelations, relations and reciprocation; a funeral and a shotgun wedding; and Javier almost gets eaten by a panther.

Chapter Nine: Holy Matri-moley

(In which Javier's life flashes before his eyes...which, given the existence of talking panthers is probably long overdue.)

Though it was difficult for him to quite appreciate the irony, in the end Javier had to admit he was kind of glad that the marriage looming ahead of him wasn't real. Truth be told, the idea of marriage had always scared him, and more than just a little. Though he would never stoop to being so dramatic as to say it out loud, something about the whole thing terrified him to the very center of his being.

It wasn't a fear that he had ever adequately been able to explain, though he figured that his mother's relationship with his father—or her lack of one—might have been a part of it. Javier had never known his father growing up, and that had been exactly how his mother had liked it. Though he and Castle had that in common, Javier hadn't felt up to sharing that bit of trivia with "famously fatherless". The writer was welcome to let his wild imagination run with his own origins, but Javier knew that in his case it very likely wasn't something he would be happier knowing.

Javier had been more curious about the subject as a child. Unfortunately, his questions had repeatedly been answered with silence, and after a while he had learned to stop asking. Over the years, that silence had led Javier to develop some very particular fears, though it wasn't until he was a teenager—a young man, more aware of the world and desperate to understand his place in it—that he had finally worked up the courage to ask again.

Fortunately, his mother had been able to lay most of his fears to rest.

In any case, what she had been able to tell him hadn't been much—hardly more than a name, which she now believed had been fake, and her reassurance that she had loved the man at the time. That he had been handsome and sophisticated and exciting. And how it hadn't quite soured until his proposal. It had seemed very sudden, and after she had accepted it he had changed. He had turned possessive, jealous, suspicious and controlling. She had grown to fear him, and upon learning she was pregnant she had known she had to walk away.

While it had been a small relief to learn even that much, still her account of the man's behavior had troubled him greatly. Javier had learned very quickly over the course of his first few relationships that he held a jealous streak of his own, and he would be the first to admit that his control over his temper wasn't what it could have been. Over the years, his concerns had grown into doubt, and his doubts into new fears that he might hold the potential to do the same—that the promise of marriage, of having that claim on another person, might one day turn him into someone he very much didn't want to be.

And those fears only applied to marriage—not the commitment involved, but marriage itself.

He knew it was irrational—he couldn't pinpoint when it had become a full-blown phobia, but he had long ago been forced to acknowledge that it had. There had only been a handful of times in his life where a relationship lasted long enough for it to become an issue, and it never got any easier for him to explain. That conversation never went well, and had, in one form or another, spelled the end of those relationships without exception. The only time Javier had managed to express those fears successfully had been the last time, with Lanie—though not even to Lanie herself, but to Kevin, once the breakup had finally happened.

Which, it occurred to him now, might go toward explaining why his partner was treating him like a fragile god-damned flower, against all sane logic.

"Kevin," Javier slapped his partner's hand away testily. "I know how to tie a tie. Let me tie it."

Kevin subsided his nervous attempts at unnecessary assistance, sticking his hands in his pockets to pace the room a couple feet away. The hovering was becoming somewhat frustrating. Though to be completely fair to his partner, Javier had to admit that there were some fairly hefty extenuating circumstances involved in Kevin's clear concern for his mental health.

Oddly though, if anything the peculiarities seemed to have made the whole situation easier to swallow. Because Kevin had been right. The wedding they were headed for wasn't real, and not even the decision to let their relationship change would make it so. They were friends—closer than anything, but still only just learning how to be anything more. They weren't there, not yet.

And then there was the nature of the wedding itself.

Between the expected guests—animals, mostly, of all types and sizes, some of who knew Kevin personally, but most of whom would be there purely for the spectacle—and the wedding party—Twigleaf as Kevin's best man, and the fox who, for some unfathomable reason, had volunteered to be his—and the minister—Rose, actually, for which Javier found himself absurdly grateful—the situation was so unbelievably surreal that his usual fears had backed down, as if there simply wasn't enough familiar ground in which they might take root.

Javier smoothed the borrowed tie against the front of his shirt—he had been more than happy not to ask where it had come from—and spared his partner a brief glance. Kevin had finally stopped pacing and stood by the window, staring out at the Farmyard with a pained expression. Javier was hesitant to ask, at first, but finally decided he was better off knowing now than having another surprise sprung on him.

"How bad is it?" he asked his partner cautiously.

Kevin shook his head slowly.

"Where in hell did Rose even get rainbow streamers?" Kevin asked softly.

He sounded utterly bewildered. Javier joined him at the window and let out a surprised snort.

"Jesus Christ..." Javier muttered, shaking his head. "What are the odds that's the worst we have to look forward to?"

He wasn't optimistic about the answer. During their brief encounter, Rose had struck him as more than canny enough to realize how ridiculous it was. He was almost certain she was doing it on purpose out of some twisted revenge for how inconvenient this all was—or perhaps it was simply out of boredom. Beside him, Kevin let out a faint whimper.

"Is it too late for me to come up with a new plan?" Kevin asked. "I think I'd like to do that very much..."

"You know, I think it might be," Javier said, a little amazed at himself to be joking about the situation.

"Guess we should just get it over with," Kevin said, turning to look at him with a faint smile.

Javier leaned in slowly for a kiss, smiling into it when Kevin returned it readily.

"Mm. I'm all for that plan," Javier said, when they were finished.

"Well any day, then, gentlemen," a voice spoke up behind them.

Javier didn't even bother to turn around, though he let out a soft laugh when Kevin ducked his head against his neck with a small noise.

"Oh, now he decides he's embarrassed," Twigleaf said with a long-suffering sigh. "Well get it out of your system now. And get your tails downstairs before Rose sends up the crow, please?"

Kevin let out a helpless laugh, muffled by Javier's shirt—a giggle, really, though he would never have insulted him by pointing it out.

For all their stated intent, it still took the both of them several minutes more to finally set foot out of the room, let alone take the next, significant, step forward. The distance to the front door—across the landing, down the stairs, and into the foyer—felt like an impossible distance, and yet it seemed they found themselves standing there far to quickly.

Kevin reached for the doorknob, and Javier did his best not to hold his breath.

Murmurs of assorted noise and energized chatter greeted their ears as the doors opened, though they very quickly fell silent, replaced by an almost unnatural hush. The farmyard had been set up with numerous chairs and benches, most of which were occupied by spectators, though just as many could not use them and were forced to stand. As Kevin and he had seen earlier, streamers of rainbow-colored crepe paper had been strung from the farmhouse door to a series of decorative arches. The farthest arch had been decorated with flowers—hastily, it was quite apparent—and it was there that Rose was waiting for them. Beside her the fox serving as Javier's best man sat on a chair, and Twigleaf upon the back of another on the other side.

Javier took a deep breath, and beside him he felt Kevin do the same. Taking that as their cue, they each spared the other a quick glance, telegraphing their shared misery before setting out together in step.

The music began with their first steps out the door. A discreet scan of the area had revealed the band. They were...human. Some of them. As far as Javier could tell. Or at least the flutist was, and the blonde, blue-clad young man with the horn who seemed to be leading them. The cat with the violin tickled something familiar in Javier's memory—probably something from his childhood—but placing it was the farthest concern from his mind at that moment.

He couldn't imagine that it mattered anyway.

Simply placing one foot after the other had them standing before Rose Red far too soon. Javier could almost feel panic pressing in like the edge of a knife in his back when Kevin's hand gently squeezed his. Keeping himself steady with a careful attention to his breathing Javier turned to face him, returning his partner's grasp. Beside them, Rose Red offered them both an encouraging smile before she spoke.

"I would like to begin by thanking everyone for joining us today," Rose began, addressing those who had assembled. "I know that all of you are aware I've never been one for tradition, and because there's nothing traditional about the union we've come here to celebrate, I see no reason to start now."

There was a wave of diverse and peculiar noises from the spectators. From the way Kevin briefly pressed his lips together to suppress a smile, Javier was forced to interpret it as laughter.

"You have been gathered here today to witness, not only the first handfasting of Fable and Mundane seen in more than a century," Rose continued, "but also to witness the first marriage of any Fable to a member of the same sex."

Rose paused, with a significance that was solemn but earnest in its attention to the matter.

"As long lived as we are," Rose said, "we run the risk of becoming set in our ways. In Fabletown especially, the letter of law and contract can overshadow its spirit. But here on the Farm, the preponderance of differences between us all have forced attitudes of compromise, of tolerance, and of equality of all people's happiness. And we know, even better than those Fables living in the city, that love takes all forms."

A soft murmur rose up from the crowd, one that sounded overwhelmingly agreeable, and Javier noticed in Kevin's expression a soft surprise.

"It is therefore that I invite any Fable with a just argument against this union to speak," Rose continued finally, "but I also warn that any unjust arguments would best be swallowed and forgotten until the end of your days."

As if for emphasis, Clara chose this moment to reclaim her usual perch on Rose's shoulder. The crow's beak smoked ominously, and Javier decided that he was definitely going to ask Kevin just what the hell…

Just as soon as the Farm was a few miles safely behind them.

Whispers could be heard among the assembly, but clearly whatever objections the Fables had prepared, none considered them just enough to risk Rose's wrath.

Satisfied, Rose turned toward Kevin.

"Acorn Mouse," she said, "do you take this man, Javier Esposito, as your husband, to be bound together beneath the law of Fabletown, Farm and City, and the Compact that protects us all for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Kevin said.

"And do you thereby accept the responsibility of being his keeper and his protector, and of safeguarding the secrets of Fabletown, in the full knowledge that you will bear equal punishment for any crime committed by your new husband under the Compact?"

"I do," Kevin said.

His answer, solemn and without hesitation, prompted another murmur of whispers from among those watching. Rose, for her part, gave a satisfied nod before turning to Javier.

"Do you, Javier Esposito, take this Fable, known to you as Kevin Ryan, as your husband, to be bound together beneath the law of Fabletown, Farm and City, and the Compact that protects us all for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Javier said, and though his mouth was drier than it had ever been in his life, his voice was strong.

"And do you thereby accept the responsibility of being his protector, and of safeguarding the secrets of Fabletown, in the full knowledge that your husband will suffer equal punishment for any crime you might commit against the Compact, knowing that the highest penalty is death?"

And though it was less than a second, in the space between the end of her question and his own answer the silence was so tense and perfect that Javier thought he heard not just his own heart hammering away, but Kevin's as well.

"I do," Javier said.

"Then give me your hands," Rose said.

He and Kevin each complied, offering their clasped hands before her. Twigleaf had carried the handfasting spell looped around his neck, and at Rose's cue he removed it and handed it to her. The thing uncoiled strangely—it seemed less like it was being unwound and more like it was...waking, slowly. It seemed to move almost imperceptibly her grasp, the ends swaying languidly like the tail of a cat. Once Rose had it unwound, she let it hang free for a moment at full length, and it seemed longer now than when when Javier had first seen it, the shimmering quality of it even more eye-catching in the afternoon sunlight.

And Javier nearly flinched as Rose looped it slowly around their hands and wrists, binding them together.

It felt neither warm nor cool as it touched his skin. In fact, Javier could hardly feel it at first—just a tingle, a tickle that he couldn't honestly be sure he actually felt at all. But when it vanished, sinking into their skins—that he certainly did feel. Neither warm nor cold, it still evoked a shudder and Javier was aware of it constricting tightly around him—tightening around his hands, around his throat, his heart—binding him to his very soul. And Javier knew exactly what Kevin had meant when telling him earlier about the geas... Almost instantly he understood that, more than having sworn to keep the secrets he had learned, revealing them would be all but impossible.

The geas now bound his hands from writing them, and his tongue from voicing them for the understanding of other Mundanes. As disturbing as the notion was, oddly, Javier found himself taking a small amount of comfort from it. At least in this way it would be harder to condemn Kevin—and himself—by mistake.

"Then by the powers granted to me by the Compact," Rose said, "under our laws I hereby declare you wed."

She offered them both a cheeky grin.

"I think we all know what comes next," she said.

This time, when he and Kevin kissed in front of the crowd it felt quite natural...as well it should, since they had spent every one of the few spare minutes they had practicing.

(And though Javier would have liked to have been spared the knowledge of what a "cat-call" sounded like when the person making it was, in fact, a fox, he had to console himself with the fact that there were far worse things.)

There was a wedding party afterward, though one that was mercifully brief. Mostly it was a release of tension after what Javier understood had been a stressful and alarming situation for everyone involved. A few introductions were made that hadn't been made previously, including the two human Fables from earlier. Though from the awkwardness of those introductions, Javier thought it may have been an attempt to put him at ease.

"And this is Blue," Rose said, introducing the young horn-player. "Without him this wedding probably wouldn't have been possible on such short notice."

"What she means," Blue clarified, "is that she called me and told me there that there was a Mundy on the Farm, and that she urgently needed my help."

"I didn't lie," Rose insisted.

"No, you didn't lie," Blue admitted, seeming a little embarrassed, "you just didn't tell me you wanted me to use the magic of the Witching Cloak to help you set up for a party."

With that introduction had come the reminder to report to Fabletown proper in Manhattan so that Javier could sign the Compact as soon as possible.

"I'll let them know they should be expecting you down in the city," Blue told them.

He tugged the tie of his suit, and the garment suddenly shifted, changing into a full-length cloak of velvet that was the deepest, richest shade of blue Javier had ever seen.

"I'm sure they'll excuse you for waiting a day...or two," Blue added bashfully, "but try not to keep King Cole waiting."

Rose thanked him and kissed his cheek, which set them turning an amusing shade of pink. And then Blue pulled the hood over his head, and in an instant he was gone.

The party wound down quickly after that. Once it was over, Rose called for a tow truck to take Javier's car back into the city. Kevin and Twigleaf made their farewells—with a promise made under threat of violence that Javier would remind Kevin to stay in touch. Then Kevin, Javier and Rose all three of them hopped in Kevin's car and drove down to where Javier's had been abandoned.

Javier noticed that the trip back to his car was far shorter than the twisting walk he vividly remembered from his way in.

Together, the three of them pushed his car past the property sign that, according to Rose, was the boundary for the enchantments which shielded the Farm from unwanted eyes. Sure enough, no sooner had the wheels rolled past than Javier's phone chirped to life to alert him to a few missed calls from Kate. There were also a couple of texts from Castle, asking him about how things went. Javier didn't know how Castle even knew he had come out here—or what he knew, as far as that went—but he was unable to hold back the laugh at the thought of the questions both he and his partner would face...

All the impossibility of that had happened over the past few days, and Castle wouldn't be able to pry it out of him with a knife.

Still, an official version of events was something that he and Kevin would both have to discuss on their way back to the city.

Unfortunately, it seemed it wouldn't be the only thing for them to think about. Before leaving them to wait for the truck, Rose turned to Kevin with an unhappy smile.

"The wedding went better than I hoped it would, but I'm sure you're aware of the prevailing sentiment," Rose told them, sadly. "It's an incredibly lazy pun, but feathers have been ruffled. And as much as I enjoyed the excitement, it would probably be a good idea if you didn't come back until things have had the chance to settle down a bit."

Rose spared a brief glance at Javier, smiling regretfully.

"That probably won't be within your new husband's lifetime," she said.

Kevin took a deep breath before he managed a slight nod.

"I understand," he said. He sounded both unsurprised and resigned. "Will you tell Twigleaf I'm sorry?"

Rose nodded, offering him a sympathetic smile.

"Of course," she told him. "Though I think this time he'll understand."

And with a parting wave, Rose headed back up the road toward the Farm.

They had just settled in for what they had thought would be an uneventful wait—and, sitting on the hood of his car side-by-side, Javier had just begun contemplating finding some way to occupy that time—when a voice spoke up, startling them both.

"I'm hurt, Ace. You came all the way out here, and you didn't even stop to say 'Hi'."

The voice, though amused, held a gruff edge that immediately raised the hairs on the back of Javier's neck.

They both turned around—himself in alarm, and Kevin with what he thought was merely surprise. They easily found the speaker, who was leaning on the wall beside the sign nearby. He was a man—or at least he looked like one, though knowing what he now did Javier had difficulty believing it. He appeared to be in his late forties or a fit early fifties, though given Kevin's true age Javier felt the observation was practically useless. Though he was of about average height, the muscle stacked onto the man's compact frame gave him an unmistakeably solid presence. His dark, greying hair was longish and shaggy, his chin and cheeks covered a dark stubble. He wore a faded flannel shirt and jeans, and with his sleeves rolled up past his elbows Javier could see the thick, greying hair that covered his body from knuckle to neck.

In spite of the faint smile on the man's face—or whatever he was—Javier couldn't help but be somewhat disturbed by his presence. There was something vaguely predatory about him. Given the choice, weighed against meeting this guy in a dark alley, Javier thought he might prefer to face the panther once again.

Kevin didn't seem to share Javier's sentiment, though, and slid off the hood of the car to greet him. Javier reluctantly followed.

"Bigby," Kevin said, sounding almost astonished as he shook the man's hand. "What are you doing out here? I thought you weren't allowed on Farm property?"

The man—Bigby—gave a faint snort.

"You're way out of the loop, kid," he said with the ghost of a smile. "I'm not, but the next valley over isn't Farm property. It's mine now. A retirement gift for my long service to Fabletown."

Kevin returned his smile.

"Come to think of it, I think Rose did say something," his partner said. "And I heard about the retirement. I also heard something about you settling down and having kids?"

Bigby barked a laugh—and that really was the only word for it.

"Six of the little monsters," Bigby said, "though you'd have to ask Snow if I've really settled at all."

Then his eyes shifted toward Javier, who far from feeling offended by being forgotten was just happy enough not letting his anxiety show.

"You know, I've heard a few things too," Bigby said, sounding almost amused. "But Reynard isn't exactly a credible source if you're looking for news instead of gossip."

Remembering his few interactions with the fox, it was impossible for Javier to find flaw in that assessment. Kevin for his part winced.

"Bigby, this is Javier Esposito...my new husband," Kevin said. "Javier, this is Bigby Wolf."

And with that introduction, Javier suddenly understood exactly who—and what—it was standing in front of him. The Wolf's eyes narrowed slightly. Javier barely managed not to squirm. Kevin didn't seem concerned, but there was something hostile in those eyes—something watchful and suspicious—that hadn't been there only moments before. Knowing what the fox must have already told him about what happened at the Farm, Javier couldn't make any sense out of that.

It was hard to feel comfortable facing that kind of uncertainty, and nearly impossible to judge how he should respond. Javier's mind settled itself on the only thing he could do, even if it felt a little suicidal.

"Sir," Javier greeted politely, extending his hand.

Bigby just stared at his hand for a moment. Kevin frowned, confused, for the first time seeming to take note of the Wolf's naked mistrust. Finally, Bigby took Javier's hand, gripping it very briefly before dropping it like something unpleasant. Then the Wolf turned away to look at his partner.

"Your truck is coming up the road," Bigby said, "but before you head off... I know Rose gave you the informal heave-ho, but remember that my land up here isn't part of the Farm. You ever want to pay someone a visit, maybe we can work something out."

He spared Javier one last brief, frowning glance before his eyes returned to Kevin.

"Take care of yourself, Ace," Bigby said.

It almost sounded like a warning, but the Wolf didn't choose to elaborate. And though he remained to watch them both as they arranged things with the driver it was the last thing he said to either one of them. Once that business was concluded, Javier and Kevin were finally free to head back into the city...

Their departure struck him as strangely anticlimactic. After everything that had happened over the past two days, Javier thought it should have felt life changing, earth shattering—yet in spite of all that he had learned, coming back home it seemed like very little had truly changed. And maybe that was how it should be...

Because it didn't feel like an end to anything, it felt like a beginning.

And Javier still didn't know if he believed in happily ever afters, but for Kevin's sake he could certainly give it a try.




Epilogue

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Author's Note: Because Dark Ages never happened, remember?

My canon's a little dated and rusty, so I have no idea if I've contradicted anything they might have said about Javier or his family. Though given that Kevin is a mouse in this fic, it's hard for me to care much.

Also, I'm well aware the angst in this chapter came out of basically nowhere.

I took some liberties with the vows here, because a.) it's Rose, and she's not the sort to do things by the book, and b.) I figure handfasting is probably a little different from a "normal" Fable wedding anyway.