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Title: Night Terrors
Series: Life
Fandoms: Castle
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Horror, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Warnings: Slash, AU, genre!crack, zombies, violent imagery, references to cannibalism, unbetad.
Characters/Pairings: Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan
Wordcount: 667
Summary: He felt so stupid when it hit him later that day. Just one of those random connections the brain often made when it was occupied by something else entirely, but the realization left him feeling chilled, and ill, and uncomfortable all the same.
Details: Takes place in the same universe as "Quality of Life" (i.e. that strange AU where Javier is a zombie, and Montgomery is still alive).
"Dreams" Javier had called them.
Kevin would never admit how much it had scared him that first time. That night he had woken up late to find his partner standing in the kitchen, eyes intense but distant, staring and unresponsive until Kevin shook him. Kevin had known about them, the waking dreams, though only vaguely from what little the nurses could tell him. He knew that during onset Javier had sometimes dreamed while he was still awake, but he hadn't realized that it still happened. Javier had never told him.
He'd had questions, of course, but he had put them away as he often did. Then Javier had started to apologize again, and Kevin couldn't stand that. Because sure, maybe it was something his partner should have mentioned before accepting the invitation to stay, but they both knew it wouldn't have changed Kevin's mind. They never happened often, anyway—in the first three months Javier had been staying with him there had been only five that Kevin was aware of. And according to his partner, he'd managed to train himself out of reacting to them long before his release.
Still, the idea of Javier becoming locked in, forced to watch his nightmares unfold in front of him was difficult to be comfortable with. It had been in his head at first to keep an eye on his partner, to snap him out of it if he could. Unfortunately the late, unpredictable hours Javier kept were prohibitive of that end, and Kevin finally had to concede his defeat.
One night, after they had started sleeping together, Kevin woke to find Javier sitting on the edge of the bed, that familiar, odd vacancy in his eyes. Pulling him out of it with a cautious hand on his shoulder, he'd coaxed Javier into bed. They had lain together quietly for a while after that, Kevin's arms around him, a strange tension electrifying the places where their two skins touched. And normally Kevin would have never asked, but it was such a common, natural question that not asking never honestly occurred to him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He had asked, softly, hand stroking slowly down the length of his partner's arm. "I mean, they say it helps if you share your nightmares."
And he had felt Javier stiffen awkwardly beside him, shifting almost as if he wanted to pull out of Kevin's grasp. After a brief moment, though, he settled in, melting back against the warmth of Kevin's body. Then reluctantly—so reluctantly, and in the loosest details possible—he had told Kevin what he'd seen.
It was as bad as he could have imagined it to be, but Kevin listened silently. When his partner had finished, a kiss and a few light comments mopped up some of the darkness around his eyes, and even brought out a weak smile. And while he drifted off first, the next morning, when Javier swore he had gotten some real sleep that night, Kevin believed him.
He felt so stupid when it hit him later that day. Just one of those random connections the brain often made when it was occupied by something else entirely, but the realization left him feeling chilled, and ill, and uncomfortable just the same.
Because he knew what they were like, if only vaguely. The nurses had described a few of them.
Javier's dreams were violent and bloody and painfully, painfully vivid. Cruel visions that had taken him months to distinguish from reality. Dreams where the worst parts of his changed nature were let loose of his usual firm control. Dreams where his darkest emotions were given brutal expression, and anger overflowed into hunger. Dreams where his chases didn't end with cuffs. Dreams where restraints broke, and bones splintered, and blood ran, hot and rich. Dreams...
Dreams.
That was realization Kevin had made, a subtle twist to his understanding that cast a sick pall over the rest of his morning. Javier nearly always called them dreams.
Dreams. Not nightmares.
Author's Note: I had this finished yesterday, and was going to save it to post some time down the line. Then, my shitty laptop (which is shitty, and likes to shut down if I bump it wrong) crashed on me. OpenOffice.org nicely saves documents when that happens...if the shitty laptop (which is shitty) remembers to read the flashdrive. I checked, I honest to God checked to see that the flash was being read before I tried to restore, but the shitty laptop (do I have to repeat myself) stopped reading it halfway through recovering the document. Which would have been fine (I'd finished it, afterall, I was just rereading...) if it hadn't saved the incomplete recovery document over the original file, basically deleting the ending to a fic that I felt I had written pretty god-damned close to perfect.
The end of this is rewritten from memory. I swear it was better before. FML.
Author's Note Two: Zombie porn fic is not new. On AO3, a reviewer left me a link to a Watchmen zombie AU. If you're into Watchmen, zombies, AUs, and slash (and I assume if you're here, you must dig three out of the four), you should definitely check it out. I never thought that Rorschach was even remotely slashable, but you live and learn... Or, you know, whatever.
Author's Note Three (aka, Life AU DVD extras): Losing the ending to this fic totally took away my mood to write. Instead, I wound up wasting almost the entire day fucking around on Windows Movie Maker. So, bad news is, you don't get the fic at 100%. Consolation prize, you get a fanvideo for the Life AU.
I'm also sharing my playlist that I listen to while writing the Life series. There's...kind of a lot of heavy in it. What? Yes, I'm a horror geek and a metal head. You're surprised?
Series: Life
Fandoms: Castle
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Horror, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Warnings: Slash, AU, genre!crack, zombies, violent imagery, references to cannibalism, unbetad.
Characters/Pairings: Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan
Wordcount: 667
Summary: He felt so stupid when it hit him later that day. Just one of those random connections the brain often made when it was occupied by something else entirely, but the realization left him feeling chilled, and ill, and uncomfortable all the same.
Details: Takes place in the same universe as "Quality of Life" (i.e. that strange AU where Javier is a zombie, and Montgomery is still alive).
"Dreams" Javier had called them.
Kevin would never admit how much it had scared him that first time. That night he had woken up late to find his partner standing in the kitchen, eyes intense but distant, staring and unresponsive until Kevin shook him. Kevin had known about them, the waking dreams, though only vaguely from what little the nurses could tell him. He knew that during onset Javier had sometimes dreamed while he was still awake, but he hadn't realized that it still happened. Javier had never told him.
He'd had questions, of course, but he had put them away as he often did. Then Javier had started to apologize again, and Kevin couldn't stand that. Because sure, maybe it was something his partner should have mentioned before accepting the invitation to stay, but they both knew it wouldn't have changed Kevin's mind. They never happened often, anyway—in the first three months Javier had been staying with him there had been only five that Kevin was aware of. And according to his partner, he'd managed to train himself out of reacting to them long before his release.
Still, the idea of Javier becoming locked in, forced to watch his nightmares unfold in front of him was difficult to be comfortable with. It had been in his head at first to keep an eye on his partner, to snap him out of it if he could. Unfortunately the late, unpredictable hours Javier kept were prohibitive of that end, and Kevin finally had to concede his defeat.
One night, after they had started sleeping together, Kevin woke to find Javier sitting on the edge of the bed, that familiar, odd vacancy in his eyes. Pulling him out of it with a cautious hand on his shoulder, he'd coaxed Javier into bed. They had lain together quietly for a while after that, Kevin's arms around him, a strange tension electrifying the places where their two skins touched. And normally Kevin would have never asked, but it was such a common, natural question that not asking never honestly occurred to him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He had asked, softly, hand stroking slowly down the length of his partner's arm. "I mean, they say it helps if you share your nightmares."
And he had felt Javier stiffen awkwardly beside him, shifting almost as if he wanted to pull out of Kevin's grasp. After a brief moment, though, he settled in, melting back against the warmth of Kevin's body. Then reluctantly—so reluctantly, and in the loosest details possible—he had told Kevin what he'd seen.
It was as bad as he could have imagined it to be, but Kevin listened silently. When his partner had finished, a kiss and a few light comments mopped up some of the darkness around his eyes, and even brought out a weak smile. And while he drifted off first, the next morning, when Javier swore he had gotten some real sleep that night, Kevin believed him.
He felt so stupid when it hit him later that day. Just one of those random connections the brain often made when it was occupied by something else entirely, but the realization left him feeling chilled, and ill, and uncomfortable just the same.
Because he knew what they were like, if only vaguely. The nurses had described a few of them.
Javier's dreams were violent and bloody and painfully, painfully vivid. Cruel visions that had taken him months to distinguish from reality. Dreams where the worst parts of his changed nature were let loose of his usual firm control. Dreams where his darkest emotions were given brutal expression, and anger overflowed into hunger. Dreams where his chases didn't end with cuffs. Dreams where restraints broke, and bones splintered, and blood ran, hot and rich. Dreams...
Dreams.
That was realization Kevin had made, a subtle twist to his understanding that cast a sick pall over the rest of his morning. Javier nearly always called them dreams.
Dreams. Not nightmares.
Author's Note: I had this finished yesterday, and was going to save it to post some time down the line. Then, my shitty laptop (which is shitty, and likes to shut down if I bump it wrong) crashed on me. OpenOffice.org nicely saves documents when that happens...if the shitty laptop (which is shitty) remembers to read the flashdrive. I checked, I honest to God checked to see that the flash was being read before I tried to restore, but the shitty laptop (do I have to repeat myself) stopped reading it halfway through recovering the document. Which would have been fine (I'd finished it, afterall, I was just rereading...) if it hadn't saved the incomplete recovery document over the original file, basically deleting the ending to a fic that I felt I had written pretty god-damned close to perfect.
The end of this is rewritten from memory. I swear it was better before. FML.
Author's Note Two: Zombie porn fic is not new. On AO3, a reviewer left me a link to a Watchmen zombie AU. If you're into Watchmen, zombies, AUs, and slash (and I assume if you're here, you must dig three out of the four), you should definitely check it out. I never thought that Rorschach was even remotely slashable, but you live and learn... Or, you know, whatever.
Author's Note Three (aka, Life AU DVD extras): Losing the ending to this fic totally took away my mood to write. Instead, I wound up wasting almost the entire day fucking around on Windows Movie Maker. So, bad news is, you don't get the fic at 100%. Consolation prize, you get a fanvideo for the Life AU.
I'm also sharing my playlist that I listen to while writing the Life series. There's...kind of a lot of heavy in it. What? Yes, I'm a horror geek and a metal head. You're surprised?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: Sunday, 13 November 2011 05:15 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: Sunday, 13 November 2011 06:23 pm (UTC)From:I feel your pain with the laptop issue. Due to crash, I had abut 85% a fic get eaten once. Ugh.
no subject
Date: Monday, 14 November 2011 08:41 am (UTC)From:I find metal heads in the most unexpected places so here is not so unexpected. Thanks for sharing!
no subject
Date: Monday, 14 November 2011 09:02 am (UTC)From:I'd have to watch Watchmen first. I've tried to for a while, it somehow evaded me. Oo
Huh! Interesting. I find that there is too much pop in this fandom. (Says the girl who managed to write a songfic on Taylor Swift. Oh well, it's about stopping a wedding, so it fit! *pouts*)
This fic has made me think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrr3lRLjZ1Y (the bits about the antidote)
(Though my icon is for SPN, it seemed fitting somehow. :P)
no subject
Date: Monday, 14 November 2011 09:31 am (UTC)From:Tough question. Who feels worse: Javier, having dreams about eating people and (on a certain level) enjoying it, or Kevin knowing that, and easily being able to guess how deeply his partner is ashamed of it...
I know it's not for everyone, but if you can manage, don't watch it, read it. I could almost guarantee you, if your closest public library has any comics at all, they'll have Watchmen.
(Says the girl who managed to write a songfic on Taylor Swift. Oh well, it's about stopping a wedding, so it fit! *pouts*)
lol, yeah. I had a similar problem when writing "Quality of Life". Because there is no more over-exposed band in fandom than Evanescence, but fuck it if "Bring Me To Life" wasn't pitch-freaking-perfect...
Re: icon, I remember ages ago talking to my sister about how, regardless of the actual plot, Supernatural's greatest contribution to culture would be the exposure of an on average fairly young female demographic to an era and genre of music not generally marketed toward them otherwise. (Says the girl who's been stealing her dad's Deep Purple CDs since forever...)
no subject
Date: Monday, 14 November 2011 11:09 am (UTC)From:You'd think I'd find it online? Like in pdf version.
Bring Me To Life is a good song for all tortured pairings. Plus, hey... not's not that. Their last single actually speaks to me. I think they've improoved since she's alone as a leader.
Yay for Deep Purple! I totally agree. I wonder what the hell SPN is doing on the cw actually. Kripke was very smart to put his own music right from the pilot so they couldn't chose it for him afterwards. I mean... the Metallicar wouldn't sound right if the lastest Rhianna song was playing. (Though, again, Disturbia... much love. :P)
Though I wish, in the depth of my heart, that SPN would jump networks (Like Buffy did, cancelled, picked up by UPN). If it were on HBO, we would have had interspieces, steamy hot gay sex A LONG time ago. *nods nods*
Me? A fan? *snorts*
no subject
Date: Monday, 14 November 2011 07:18 pm (UTC)From:Don't get me wrong, Evanescence isn't bad, and I like the song, I just think they're overexposed.
I'm of the camp that firmly refuses to even classify Dean/Cas as slash. Cas isn't really a guy, just wearing one...so it's totally okay, right Dean? >.>
(We all know the real reason his drinking has gotten so bad this season...)
no subject
Date: Monday, 14 November 2011 09:26 pm (UTC)From:Oh, they are? In France it's certainly not the case. We heard the 1st album, it was blasted everywhere, after that the others came pretty quietly.
Kind of like the Hansons (I know. I was 12 at some point...). I recently realized that a)they were still alive and b)they were still touring.
Oh, come on. Dean/Cas is a bit slashy! I mean, for all intents and purposes, at least for the brothers, he's a dude. Even for Dean. Why else would he bring Cas to a strip club and get him laid? Somehow I can't imagine Dean would do the same for a girl, even though he may think of himself as liberal, he thinks of good girls as pure. I think. Maybe. *thinks back to Anna* I dunno.
Anyway... Every now and then Cas turns out to be just a guy (ex angel). I am firmly certain that Future!Cas and 2014!Dean have had sex at some point. Even awkward and misfire make out is fine. A sexless angel made sexed heaven outcast turned Dean bi. I stick to it.
And yes. OH YES! Dean can't sleep without dreaming of his lost bff. I want to see that scene when Dean drinks alone at night and goes outside because Sam is sleeping. He takes out an old, dirty trenchcoat and stares at it sadly. Going something like 'You knew, Cas, right? We never said it... I never said it, but you knew?' (tee hee, and you're left to wonder if Dean actually KNOWS what he's saying for once)
And then maybe Cas appears because all it took was Dean praying. And then Dean blushes and sputters and argues that that was NOT praying and Cas just grins because, duh, he's here. :P
(No... I swear I do not write fic.)
(Actually, I don't even have this random roach plot in my head that is so deliciously odd that it makes me think you should write it....)
no subject
Date: Monday, 14 November 2011 10:00 pm (UTC)From:(Actually, I don't even have this random roach plot in my head that is so deliciously odd that it makes me think you should write it....)
I've got way, way too many Roach ideas as it is (a few that are even SN crossovers...), but I'd still love to hear it if you toss me a PM. :)