![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: Heart Attack
Series: Life
Fandoms: Castle
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Horror, Angst, Romance
Warnings: Slash, AU, genre!crack, zombies, unbetad.
Characters/Pairings: Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan
Wordcount: 285
Summary: It was funny how similar it felt...
Details: Takes place in the same universe as "Quality of Life" (i.e. that strange AU where Javier is a zombie, and Montgomery is still alive).
Javier wasn’t conscious when his heart finally failed, but from the moment he woke out of his fever, he’d been waiting for it to happen.
Tied down to the hospital bed, there had been more than enough free hours in each day, and nothing much to fill them but waiting. And, waiting, there had been several times when he had been sure it was about to happen. Times when his heart had labored a heavier beat than usual in his chest, accompanied by a sensation of pressure and a sick churning, like the sucking in a clogged drain. Each time, he’d find himself torn between conflicting instincts, breath held as he listened, waiting, while an angry voice in the back of his mind urged him not to stop…not when it could be the last real breath he had.
And finally, the next beat would come. And the next, and the next, and the pressure in his chest would ease, leaving only slow, quiet dread behind.
Next time, maybe. Next time…
His heart no longer beat, but it was funny how similar it felt watching his partner get shot. The sick lurch and that sucking feeling were almost identical despite the lack of real function beneath it, the frozen anticipation painfully familiar. And he couldn’t have breathed if he wanted to, so focused on his partner’s chest—the alarming stutter in its rise and fall as Kevin struggled to pull air into his lungs.
And the relief as Kevin opened his eyes, fogged with pain, but seeing him… His partner’s breathing was evening out, and the bullet hadn’t breached the vest...
And next time…
Javier was going to make damned sure there was no “next time”.
Author’s Note: I’m committing a no-no posting this from school, but this wrote itself on the train this morning, and I couldn’t resist.
Regarding Javier’s feelings here, I’ve always tried to keep post-vitals as anatomically correct as possible in their state of undeath. I don’t believe I am departing from that by having emotions still register as an ache in the chest, despite his not having a heartbeat. Believe it or not, I actually took the time to look this up, and while scientists aren’t 100% sure, what I read seemed to indicate that “heartache” is caused by emotions triggering pain reception in the brain that is interpreted as physical pain in the chest. So Javier still would feel that, despite the fact that about half of the organs in his chest are more or less obsolete at this point.
Series: Life
Fandoms: Castle
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Horror, Angst, Romance
Warnings: Slash, AU, genre!crack, zombies, unbetad.
Characters/Pairings: Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan
Wordcount: 285
Summary: It was funny how similar it felt...
Details: Takes place in the same universe as "Quality of Life" (i.e. that strange AU where Javier is a zombie, and Montgomery is still alive).
Javier wasn’t conscious when his heart finally failed, but from the moment he woke out of his fever, he’d been waiting for it to happen.
Tied down to the hospital bed, there had been more than enough free hours in each day, and nothing much to fill them but waiting. And, waiting, there had been several times when he had been sure it was about to happen. Times when his heart had labored a heavier beat than usual in his chest, accompanied by a sensation of pressure and a sick churning, like the sucking in a clogged drain. Each time, he’d find himself torn between conflicting instincts, breath held as he listened, waiting, while an angry voice in the back of his mind urged him not to stop…not when it could be the last real breath he had.
And finally, the next beat would come. And the next, and the next, and the pressure in his chest would ease, leaving only slow, quiet dread behind.
Next time, maybe. Next time…
His heart no longer beat, but it was funny how similar it felt watching his partner get shot. The sick lurch and that sucking feeling were almost identical despite the lack of real function beneath it, the frozen anticipation painfully familiar. And he couldn’t have breathed if he wanted to, so focused on his partner’s chest—the alarming stutter in its rise and fall as Kevin struggled to pull air into his lungs.
And the relief as Kevin opened his eyes, fogged with pain, but seeing him… His partner’s breathing was evening out, and the bullet hadn’t breached the vest...
And next time…
Javier was going to make damned sure there was no “next time”.
Author’s Note: I’m committing a no-no posting this from school, but this wrote itself on the train this morning, and I couldn’t resist.
Regarding Javier’s feelings here, I’ve always tried to keep post-vitals as anatomically correct as possible in their state of undeath. I don’t believe I am departing from that by having emotions still register as an ache in the chest, despite his not having a heartbeat. Believe it or not, I actually took the time to look this up, and while scientists aren’t 100% sure, what I read seemed to indicate that “heartache” is caused by emotions triggering pain reception in the brain that is interpreted as physical pain in the chest. So Javier still would feel that, despite the fact that about half of the organs in his chest are more or less obsolete at this point.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: Tuesday, 15 November 2011 05:43 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: Wednesday, 16 November 2011 12:33 am (UTC)From:Oh, absolutely true that emotional pain can be felt physically.
And when I saw that you'd posted again, I squeaked. I ♥ this so much...
no subject
Date: Wednesday, 16 November 2011 01:50 am (UTC)From:And then Kevin got shot. Wow.
no subject
Date: Wednesday, 16 November 2011 06:25 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: Wednesday, 16 November 2011 04:29 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: Wednesday, 16 November 2011 05:42 am (UTC)From:-articulate well.
Gah, the fact that it registers as this physical ache... It brings tears to my eyes, it really does. I'm so happy you wrote this...!
no subject
Date: Wednesday, 16 November 2011 06:51 am (UTC)From: